Marine Mystery Brings Mirth, Head-Scratching, New Neighborly Traditions and Possible Petty Crime to Granite Falls!

Sometime in May 2021, a seemingly absurd story started murmuring its way around the Granite Falls community. First it was scoffed at, or dismissed with a snort - it’s well documented you can’t easily put one over on folks from the River Valley - but as more and more people started reporting the same thing, and mysterious grainy photographs began appearing, the story took hold. By June, these rumors were being enthusiastically backed by more than twenty-three community members who claimed to have firsthand experience witnessing what had been laughed out of the room the month before. And now, a new regional festival has been re-named in honor of this most incredible occurrence.

The story was this: In late spring, sightings were reported that a squid had been identified, swimming upstream in the Minnesota River. No one knew where it had come from - whether it traveled all the way from the Mississippi, or some irresponsible person had surreptitiously released the contents of their saltwater tank into the river… but multiple sources confirmed that the squid hit the dam and couldn’t - or wouldn’t continue its journey. But rather than turning around and heading back from whence it came, the squid seemed to “hang out” for a while in the downtown river area, eating chum from the dam and “messing with” the pelicans. The squid, eventually nicknamed “Todd” (gender unknown) by locals, has by all accounts decided to call Granite Falls home, and has been venturing further into the community at night (squid are nocturnal and often rely on bioluminescence to hunt). Historically, squid are categorized as freshwater animals. According to Mark Norman, the Head of Science at the Museum Victoria in 2013; "Cephalopods include squid, cuttlefish, octopuses and nautiluses. All 1000 or so species are voracious carnivores, with large brains, complex behaviors and the ability to change color, texture and shape to elude hungry predators keen to snack on the soft-bodied animals… They are found throughout the world's oceans from the warm waters of the tropics down to subzero temperatures in polar regions. They can survive out of water for extended periods of time, and some, like the vampire squid, escape from predators by hiding in water so low in oxygen that the fish chasing them would pass out. Another new species of pale octopus was found in 2012 living at 2400 meters depth around hydrothermal vents near Antarctica. These vents produce high concentrations of hydrogen sulphide and temperatures exceed 382 degrees Celsius. But while cephalopods are clearly adept at exploiting extreme environments, they are not usually found in freshwater.” It’s worth noting that earlier this year, a historically saltwater eel species was found living in a nearby lake; so this is not the first report of marine adaptation to the River Valley climate in 2021 - if that is indeed what has transpired. The world is a crazy, beautiful place, full of creatures varied and mysterious, and whether Todd was affected by nuclear waste (according to some), escaped from anexotic experimental aquarium (according to others), or simply adapted more extremely than most in a world of changing climate and conditions, this simple, mischievous river squid seems to have been embraced by the Granite community. In July a local woman reported a message, written messily in chalk, by the downtown walking bridge, proclaiming “gud morning. am i speling that rite? - todd” near some suspicious, squid-like track marks. She bought some glitter chalk at the hardware store and responded in kind: “Not quite, but marvelous effort! Welcome!” The Advocate Tribune reached out to her for comment, and she told us “Being part of a community means being a good neighbor. We all need each other to build and grow a healthy community, so no matter how different we are, we should welcome and be open to each community member equally. Todd was making the effort to learn our language and reach out, so I thought it was only proper that someone write back! His spelling has gotten much better, and he seems to be a huge fan of the Farmer’s Market on Wednesday mornings!” City Hall has since reported the mysterious disappearance - and return - of a year’s worth of newspapers, as well as some clear report covers. Speculation has run amuck that Todd “borrowed” them to read up on this newfound hometown, and perhaps learn English. The Arts Council has likewise reported several cases of water that mysteriously disappeared when the river was at its lowest. Quoted one Councilmember, “if Todd needed them, that’s fine! It’s been a dry summer. And it’s a privilege to house the first documented American river squid. I hope Todd sticks around!” Small art pieces, tributes and messages have been popping up all over the area in honor of the area’s latest inhabitant. The upcoming September 17th regional festival, hosted by Granite Falls and occupying the downtown riverfront all day that Saturday, even rebranded itself “SquidFest” Seems like everyone is stepping up to be a good neighbor to this newly river-rooted creature. Todd, the Downtown River Squid. Already a legend.